How to make peace with the unknown
“As you start to walk on the way, the way appears” - Rumi
Fog is your friend.
Have you noticed how fog from a far seems like a place of complete invisibility and yet when you come closer the place of “invisibility” moves further and further away?
From afar it might seem like the path you’re walking abruptly ends at the point where your vision can reach no further but as you approach it, you can clearly see the surroundings that seemed like a silhouette just moments ago. The scary feelings are gone as long as you focus on what you CAN see and not on what you CAN’T.
It’s the same with life.
Oftentimes we focus too much on what’s ahead of us and not enough on what’s in the vicinity. That leads to feelings of anxiety and fear because we can’t tell exactly where we’re going, the future is unknown to all of us. However, by paying attention to the present moment it can keep us grounded enough to clear our head and find the best approach to where we want to go. No one wants to be running through the thick fog and hope for the best. But there is also no point of focusing on what you can’t see.
Similar philosophy can be applied to any new things we try, to moments when we’re starting over, learning new skills, taking a trip to a place we’ve never been to before, starting a new career, basically anything that isn’t your usual routine.
Your brain LOVES familiarity.
Even a tiny thing out of the ordinary can become a crisis for the brain that loves to “protect” you from “the dangers” and to the brain everything that it hasn’t gotten accustomed to yet is danger. Think of the time before you knew how to do things you now do on autopilot - before you knew how to ski or drive a car or speak a language or even make coffee. Now that you’re familiar with the motions and the actions your brain probably doesn’t scream “DEATH” every time you have to order a pizza in French.
So yeah, your brain lies to you A LOT. It will tell you “Do you really need to have that fulfilling lifestyle? Aren’t you actually OKAY in this dead end job that leaves you absolutely drained? I don’t think you need any big changes right now. After all there is a birthday coming, your friend’s wedding, your dad’s surgery, your dog’s 5th year since you rescued him, you just bought a new/used car, you can’t POSSIBLY do ANYTHING else - you won’t be able to handle it. YOU WILL CRUMBLE, JENNIFER!!!”
And so you remain within the known.
Your brain is gonna be quick to convince you that there is danger hiding in that fog, that you will DIE ON THAT HILL dare you summit it.
And so it seems less scary to not take any new action, say no to an opportunity, stay with a person that mistreats you and bury that dream so deep it will hopefully never resurface.
The truth is that the long term result of that is actually a lot more scary. One day you wake up and you realize you’ve spent your entire life in fear, trying to control the outcome and trajectory of every single event of your life only for the life to STILL throw you countless curveballs that forced you to adapt and go in the unknown.
In the end, it might’ve been the exact same if you just said YES to your heart and followed that “crazy plan” everyone keeps telling you will fail. The unknown is part of life. It’s one of the blessings and the curses we humans face.
The truth is, no matter how much you control the outcome - it will NEVER be exactly as you picture it. Life seldomly works that way.
So might as well say “Heck it, I’m diving into the unknown, I am taking a chance on me and taking a leap of faith!”. Because you’re doing that anyway, even if you don’t realize it. We’re all walking this life with faith and hope that something better is around the corner. So give yourself a chance for magic.
